The Flip Side!

Um...excuse me, Mr. Food Moves Guy.  Your sandwich is upside-down.  And is that a fish sandwich?  Gross!

Ferguson Brewing Company, Ferguson MO

There are a few things I won't tolerate from hypothetical comments, and one is negativity.  YES, it's upside-down.  YES, it's a fish sandwich (cod, in case you were curious).  NO, it's not gross...at least no more disgusting than the two of us (I can be pretty repulsive so I'm counting on you to average us out).

Yet the question remains, why is this sandwich upside-down?

I'll tell you.  Why wouldn't I?  I could possibly withhold because I'm the type of person who second guesses his actions before he does it, while he is doing it, and especially after doing it.  I'm not even mentally present while writing this article, I'm actually thinking mostly about my use (or overuse) of punctuation (and parenthetical comments, someone save me!).

THE POINT OF FLIPPING MY SANDWICH is mainly because it sets up a much more natural eating motion.  Imagine a sandwich in front of you.  I'm imagining a spicy chicken sandwich, but you pick whatever sounds good.  You'll likely be served the sandwich upside-up, which is most picturesque.  So take a bite, but don't put it down yet.  Which feels more natural:  placing the sandwich down upside-up or upside down?

Placing it back in the upside-up position requires your elbows to go out and up a bit.  Not only will that piss off the person you're sitting next to (who probably requires excessive elbow space for his or her bad form), but it just feels uncomfortable to me.

Now try out the motion of placing it back upside-down.  See how your elbows can stay in one position?  Smooth!  

This guy has apparently stolen the Danish National Burger,
but look at the wingspan.  Bad form!
Photo by mroach

There's an added perk to this move that I've noticed in my research.  Imagine you're eating a juicy burger or any other sandwich that typically results in a soggy lower bun.  The flip changes the direction of the liquid flavor so that it must first make its way through a coat of cheese, the vegetable toppings and whatever else you have in there.  I'm not saying it won't make it to the top bun (now the bottom bun, mind you), but it will take longer and the damage certainly won't be as bad.  

So give your arms a break and save your energy for concealing that shameful secret of yours.  Everyone has one, and I can tell from the look on your face that yours is especially deplorable.  Wow.  I have to go.